


Evelyn

by AdorkaGabe



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, FakeHaus, Gen, I accidentally ended up killing people, Ryan is a dork, Vagabond Centric, because that happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 22:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6028618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorkaGabe/pseuds/AdorkaGabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan is a dork and accidentally lands in a group of old ladies when parachuting. He doesn't ask Gavin to research them and send them flowers. He totally didn't start 'accidentally' bumping into them and helping them to make sure they're okay. He didn't expect one of them to have a past in crime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

The Vagabond was known as the Vagabond because nobody knew who he was. For all Los Santos knew, he could be their friendly neighbour who goes out to work every day at 7am but doesn’t return until midnight. Then again, hardly anybody trusted each other in Los Santos. The phrase ‘Trust someone as far as you can throw them’ really applied here and while they were all trained in using guns, they weren’t trained in throwing people… Except a few people but they didn’t trust anyone anyway.

It started as the Vagabond, on his own, doing small assassination jobs or tracking jobs. He had an almost perfect record for someone on the job as long as he has been. He didn’t have a base, per se, he had a warehouse where he made most of his deals and he slept where he could. Cheap hotel to cheap hotel to his small rented flat he didn’t visit that much due to the fear of someone finding him. He didn’t want him to find him after all. He worked alone until he met Michael, an explosions expert who worked with a crew called the Fake AH Crew. They were a weird bunch and the Vagabond kept his distance, not wanting the same spotlight they wanted. But he and Michael could have been classed as friends with Gavin tagging along as Michaels ‘boi’. He never really cared enough to question it.

Michael and the Vagabond did jobs together, small heists or just straight out ‘have no mercy’ jobs that the Fake AH Crew seemed to avoid. Michael just seemed pleased to have someone to do them with. It all went until the Vagabond ‘accidentally’ crashed a jet into a street, ejecting moments before it hit the ground. He drifted to the ground and into a group of old ladies. He stood apologizing profusely; he had respect for his elders after all. Well, when said elders weren’t chasing him with guns anyway. Michael crackled in over the radio telling him to ‘hurry his ass up before the cops arrive’. The Vagabond quickly did a scan over their faces before hurrying into the Maze Bank, guns roaring. The Heist was successful and they walked away with a few million at least.  
That night he didn’t tell Gavin to review the security footage, he didn’t tell him to look up those old ladies and he certainly didn’t order 10 bouquets of flowers, one for each lady. He didn’t and nobody could prove he did. He also didn’t mean to make it a habit to ‘accidentally’ run into the old ladies wherever he could to make sure they were okay. If Michael or Gavin ever asked him about it, he denied it vehemently.

Though, he never expected one of the old ladies to invite him over to her house when he was watching them without his usual mask. He didn’t need to worry, nobody knew his face. Not even the Fake AH Crew. He was helping her with her groceries (because he offered to when she was struggling to reach something on the top shelf) when she invited him. He hesitated before accepting, what harm could it do?

Her cottage was on the outskirts of the city and they got a bus journey there. All the way there, Ryan felt the itch to put on his mask, to hide his face from the people on the bus but he never acted on it. He was glad when they got to her small cottage due to the lack of other buildings and, more importantly, people. He laughed when a small, old collie dog came running out to meet them, tail wagging madly behind it. He learned that the dog’s name was Rupert, British tea (with imported tea bags) was better than any American teas and that buttery shortbread was really nice and melted on your tongue, seeming to take your worries with it. Before he left, he learned her name was Evelyn and he was welcome at any point to come over for a ‘cuppa’.


	2. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Vagabond was a lone wolf, he would kill them.

“How dare they?” Ryan grumbled to himself, “Declare loyalty to them? They’ve done nothing for me, why should I? I’m going to be forced into a spotlight I don’t need for the sake of their ‘crew’.” He spat out the last word as he drove towards one of the Fake AH Crews many warehouses, “I don’t need them, just watch and see. Geoff Ramsey, you’ve gone too far and your Kingpin reign is over.” He pushed the acceleration to the max, not caring that he was driving dangerously. If the Fake AH Crew didn’t exist, he would be top dog around here.

His phone beeped and he glanced at it, barely taking his eyes from the road. ‘Evelyn’ flash across the screen and he screeched to a halt, somehow managing to park perfectly in an alleyway. He yanked the phone from its holder and opened the message. After reading it, he let out a sigh of relief, “Nothing’s wrong, its fine…” He mumbled to himself before replying.

‘You coming for some tea and shortbread, dearie?’

‘On job, soon though’ He didn’t manage to place the phone down before the next message came through.

‘I saw your car, come over here now. That was not your job driving. No questions’

How did she know his job driving? Ryan bit his lip before sighing and driving in the direction of Evelyn’s house.

He arrived to the door open just a tidge and the warm smell of chocolate biscuits filling the air. He ignored his stomach grumbling, vaguely remembering that he had hardly eaten today between hauled up at the Fake AH Crew Penthouse while they tiptoed around asking him to join. Not that he knew that at the time but it was annoying anyway. He walked straight to the kitchen from the door and leant against the counter while Evelyn finished up her cookies, “Hello. Ryan dear. Now what was the foolish driving about?”

Ryan almost felt like a kid again, being chastised for stealing something, “It was nothing important. Just some people getting in my way.”

“We both know that’s not how you do things…” She paused but Ryan didn’t answer, “I thought I’d make a change today. I didn’t have enough butter to make my special shortbread so I made chocolate cookies, do you mind? Also take off that mask, we’re inside. I thought you had better manners.” 

He sheepishly took off the mask before shaking his head, “I don’t mind the change.”

“Good. Now, sit while I brew us some tea.” Ryan watched as he always did as she made the tea with shaky hands. He wanted to be ready in case she spilt something, in case she hurt herself. He mulled over the strange friendship he had with the old lady, she was strange herself. She didn’t mind that he killed for a living and she didn’t seem bothered by his mask that much (unless he was wearing it inside). She sometimes helped him clean off his face paint after a bad fight (“If you don’t clean off this make-up, you’re going to get spots. I’m surprised you haven’t already.”) Or patched him up when he stumbled here with a bullet wound or two (“Kids these days. Work on your leg work, Ryan dearie.”). 

“Hey, Evelyn?”

“Hm?”

“Why aren’t you bothered?”

“About your life style? I used to live it once.”

“What?”

“Mmhmm, I used to be a hacker for a crew that you’re too young to remember. Did you really think you and the Fake AH Crew were the first ones here? Who do you think left you the legacy, boy?”

“Well…”

“That’s right, you didn’t. Edith was sometimes right about your generation.” She laughed jovially, “Los Santos has always called to the law breakers and to the criminals. The newest Kingpin though, Geoffrey Ramsey is a nice lad. Met him once when he was just starting up and gathering crew. I may or may not have sent him anonymous messages to the best crew members like that Jack Patillo. Nice woman, always ready to help and an amazing driver probably better than Barbara. Or… What was there name?” She mulled over it for a second, “Oh! Michael Jones, New Jersey lad. Always had a love of explosions and money. You know him don’t you?”

“Yeah, he’s how I met Ramsey and the others.”

“Their hacker, Gavin Free, is a good one. Took me about 3 hours to get through his defences and codes. But I’m probably the best hacker there is and it’ll take anyone else a lot longer to break through them don’t worry.” She brought the tea to the table before walking over to a bookshelf, “I want you to take these Ryan,” she said pulling out 4 books, “This is my story of when I was part of the crew that ruled Los Santos.” 

The books were leather bound and the pages dog-eared to no end with smudges in the writing but amazingly nice handwriting. ‘Nan Bibles’ was inscribed on the front of every one. Ryan flipped through them with interest, “Do you mind if I take these and read through them?”

“Of course not, I’m passing my legacy onto you, dear. Go to Ramsey and help him keep Los Santos under his control. Learn from my crew’s mistakes and victories and don’t let the fame get his head. He’s a good man; he can keep Los Santos under his control if he really wanted to. Nobody could stop him.”

“You want me to pledge loyalty to them?”

“I know it’ll be hard but you’ll be safer with them.”

“If you say so.”


	3. Family Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crime runs in the family it seems.

Ryan returned to the Fake AH Crew, agreeing to their conditions. They even agreed to keep his identity a secret so he would stay. He read through the Nan Bibles, it was almost like a fantasy due to how much trouble Evelyn got up to with her crew. Evelyn herself was the hacker with Edith being her kingpin. What surprised Ryan the most was that it was an entirely female crew, well the heads of it anyway. Barbara was like Jack, the driver and part of the gun power. Janet was the demolitions expert while Arabella was their sniper. It made him almost sad to think how most of these people were either dead or too old to continue with their skills. The last woman he heard of was Iris, she appeared near the end of the second book. She started by doing odd jobs for them, using it to let of steam and to get away from her controlling family. Her last name caught his interest the most, ‘Somerville’. He’s pretty sure that’s his mother’s maiden name before she married his father.

Iris Somerville, could he be related to her? He never knew his grandmother, she died before he was born and his mother never talked about her saying she as ‘dangerous’ so maybe he was? He smiled slightly, seems being a criminal runs in the family. Flipping over to the next page there was a photograph. It was extremely old and worn but he could still see everyone. He made out Evelyn, hair in her signature bun and wrinkles already creasing her face even though it looked like she was around 30. The next face to catch his eye was one that looked almost exactly like his mothers. Black hair framed her face and piercingly sharp eyes glared out from the photograph, almost as if it was a photograph taken today. She was beautiful in a dangerous way. ‘Almost like me’ Ryan thought jokingly.

“Rye-bread! We have a job!” Ryan was forced out of his concentration on the book to see Gavin stood above him, “A womans been kidnapped by FakeHaus.”

Ryan frowned, “And why do we care?”

“Geoff seems to know her.” Ryan nodded and followed Gavin to the rest of the crew, why would Geoff care about some random woman?

“Okay, now were all here. The woman whose been kidnapped is called Evelyn Johnson.” Ryan froze, there was no way. “She’s the one who helped me find some of you, namely Jack and Michael.” Geoff frowned, “She basically helped me build my way around-“

“Where is she?” Ryan growled out.

“Why?”

“Let me confess something Geoff, without her you wouldn’t have me.”

“She gets around I see.” Geoff joked.

“Tell me where she is, Geoff!”

“One of FakeHaus’ warehouses.”

“Take me.”


	4. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No more Mr. Nice Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Descriptions of death but nothing major.

The Vagabonds infamous Zentorno screeched around the corner, turning into the street where the warehouse was situated. He climbed out of his care without a care, skull mask firmly in place as he listened to the chatter over his ear piece as people got into position. He strolled up to the doors and, as every polite gentlemen does, knocked. 

No answer.

He knocked again.

A bullet whizzed past his head and he ducked against the side of the door. “C’mon guys, that’s not very nice now is it?”

“Why are you here? We wanted Ramsey.”

“Well, if you take something important to me, you get me.” Jeremy shot into the now open doorway, catching Kovic on the arm. The Vagabond smiled under the mask as Jeremy let out a stream of ‘that’s what you get you fucking clone’ and the likes. Kovic backpedalled, hand over the wound, “He’s not alone!” he yelled.

“Of course not, I’m not that stupid.” He aimed blindly around the door, shooting a couple of times. He didn’t want to hit anyone, so he aimed mainly to the ground. It was to give them false confidence that maybe the Vagabond wasn’t as good as everyone said.   
Silence settled, and Vagabond listened carefully for footsteps. ‘Ryan, behind you’ was murmured into his ear and he barely managed to duck out of the way before bullets replaced his head. He shot towards the person stood there, catching them in the chest.

They staggered back but they obviously had a bullet proof vest on as they were only winded. Vagabond quickly pulled out his knife before slitting the person’s throat. He almost regretted it, FakeHaus were a promising crew. Then he remembered about Evelyn. He pulled the com from the person’s ear, and replaced his own. “James? James are you there?” He heard. He chuckled before speaking, “Not anymore.” He pulled it out again, stamped on it and placed his own back in. 

He considered throwing a grenade in but that had too many risks. He spotted a ladder and scaled it quickly. Bingo, the roof had windows. He glanced through them, trying to get a good layout of the building and to find Evelyn. “Probably used to store weapons or illicit goods” he murmured so the other guys could know, “Standard layout, rows and rows. Disadvantage as that is easier to hide and easier to sneak but use it wisely. I can’t see the door from this position so be careful on approach. I’ll check for a back entrance.” He didn’t wait for a reply before moving towards the back of the building. 

“Adam we need to go, now. The Vagabond is a surprise and we don’t want to be killed.”

“He killed James, Bruce! We’ve gotta get revenge.”

“That’s the grief talking now get into the car.”

The Vagabond peered over the edge to see two FakeHaus members arguing, Kovic was still holding a hand over his wound. He stayed quiet.

“Bruce, she’s still in there. What are we going to do, just blow it?”

“What else can we do? It’s been set up and they’re probably already inside. Lawrence isn’t here with the helicopter yet so we have no way of escape apart from to get our asses out of dodge in this car.”

The Vagabond glared before shooting Kovic in the head, “Blow it and your next.” He shouted. Willems panicked and started shooting back before the Vagabond caught his firing hand, “Okay, I’m sorry! Please, don’t kill me! I-I have a wife!”

The Vagabond debated jumping from the position but thought it would just injure him. “Get me Evelyn and I’ll think about it.” Willems nodded and ran into the warehouse. The Vagabond quickly found a ladder and climbed down. Willems brought Evelyn out a few minutes later, “P-Please, don’t kill me. I only became part of FakeHaus to get some extra money. I-I wasn’t lying, I do have a wife.”

The Vagabond didn’t say anything but cocked his gun at Willem’s forehead. Evelyn walked over and pushed the gun away, “No need for unnecessary bloodshed. He isn’t lying.” The Vagabond replaced the safety and put his gun away. “We’re around the back guys.” He said lowly. Willems was visibly shaking, fear evident in his eyes. The Vagabond just glared.

“Vagabond, nice job. Did you really have to kill them though?” The Vagabond didn’t reply, as Geoff strolled around the corner. “You okay?” The Kingpin asked Evelyn, who nodded. “James Willems. I didn’t expect you to get into kidnapping. Seriously, it would be like kidnapping your grandmother. Who paid you? Burns?”

Willems didn’t speak. “Corpirate?” Willems shook his head and opened his mouth but before he could say anything, he was dead. Sniped. Geoff recoiled as he was right next to the man, “What the fuck?!” The crew looked around but couldn’t see anyone, “Seriously, what the fuck?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing against FunHaus, I just needed a crew and they were the first ones to come to mind.


	5. Crossing Bridges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End to a story

With Evelyn rescued and back home. Geoff kept a watch on her, just people from the crew visiting her. He put Ryan on as much as possible. Today was one of those days and the penthouse seemed more lacklustre than normal.   
“Hey, boi. It’s boring without Ryan here.”

“I know and I don’t know why. He’s normally really quiet anyway.”

“He does have a commanding presence.” Jack cut in, “It’s hard not to notice him, even if he’s just sat there.”

“True. Hey Geoffrey, how did you know Evelyn?”

“She found me a few months after I came to Los Santos. She looked innocent but damn did she know how to aim a gun.” A faint wince came over his face, “I was in a bad spot and she rescued me. I don’t think she left anyone alive. She had been watching me and my deals. She became my advisor for a while and told me to look for Jack and Michael. Then she disappeared. It’s weird to think that she knows Ryan and she’s the one reason why the Vagabond became part of our crew.”

“And those Nan Bibles.”

“Oh, yeah, they were a running joke between her crew. Evelyn always believed she would have a family and such so she wanted something to pass on. I guess she never did and so she’s adopted Ryan. Or maybe all of us.”

“She’s good for Ryan though.” Gavin said thoughtfully.

“Hm?”

“She is. She’s helped him. She’s like a steady rock in Ryans river rapid of a life.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean.”

“You do?” Michael butted in.

“I suppose years of knowing Gavvers has paid off.” Geoff laughed.

“What are we going to do about FakeHaus?” Gavin asked after a couple of minutes.

“They wont try again, trust me.”

“Or about who hired them?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“I just hope it won’t come back to bite us on the arse.”

“Nah.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Prequel: The Past Never Lies...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6055279) by [PredictedCyborg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PredictedCyborg/pseuds/PredictedCyborg)




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